среда, 29. август 2012.

Dimitrije Vojnov CRIP-SHOW (1): We have cinemas



            U okviru akcije "blessed from the pest" predstavljam ovde rane radove Dimitrija Vojnova. U vreme filma TITO I JA, jedan američki časopis je napisao: "Dimitrije Vojnov is a wonderfully comic figure!" A sada ćete videti dalje dokaze za ovu pronicljivo-proročku tvrdnju
            Ovo su tekstovi koje je DV objavljivao na sajtu Ain't-It-Cool-News u okviru izveštaja iz Evrope u prvim godinama 21. veka. Potpisivani su sa dva pseudonima: "Dima" i "Ethan". Ovaj drugi je valjda omaž žestokom momku i osvetoljubivom rasisti Itanu koga u Fordovim TRAGAČIMA igra Džon Vejn. Kasnije je DV na internetu, među srpskim čitaocima, postao poznat pod nickom "Crippled Avenger", ali šteta je da njegovi rani radovi, pod drugim nikovima, čame nepoznati novijim fanovima njegovog komičarskog rada, budući da ih iz nekog razloga nije rabio na svom blogu o gubljenju nevinosti. Pošto je veliki gubitak za istoriju domaće filmske kritike (i humoristike) da to ne vide nova pokoljenja, vreme je za ekskluzivnu rezurekciju, odnosno – Crip-Show! Sledi moj izbor nekih od zabavnijih napisa. Jedina svrha ovoga jeste, kao i uvek, Zabava + Poduka, i svaku drugu zlobnu insinuaciju s gnušanjem odbacujem.
            U ovom nastavku Krip-Šoua saznaćete da u Jugoslaviji postoje bioskopi, ali postoje i pirati, od kojih neke Krip ima u svojoj sobi; pročitaćete pohvale kretenskoj Smokijevoj NEBESKOJ UDICI i njenim "kompetentnim" glumcima, plus prognoze da će strana publika veoma voleti ovaj film, za razliku od domaće, koja je previše pod uticajem politike; videćete najavu velike nade našeg filma, Dejana Zečevića, i njegovog horora, o kome nam Krip neće reći ni reč, sem da dolazi iz zemlje poznate po brutalnim zločinima; najzad, videćete hvalospev "filmu" njegovog mentora, ideologa i duhovnog oca, N. Pajkića i njegove žene, Isidore Bjelice – DORĆOL MENHETN i obećavajuće prognoze koje se Kripu javljaju posle ekskluzivne projekcije kojoj je prisustvovao! U tom tekstu ćete takođe napokon saznati – koja je zapravo ciljna grupa tog "filma"! I pančlajn na kraju – obavezni pravoslavni pozdrav: "Bog vas blagoslovio!" od bogobojažljivog kritičara.
            Uživajte!
            (Sva naglašavanja farbom su moja!)

EuroAICN #5

YUGOSLAVIA
To kick off this weeks report here is Dima who brought
us this interesting report from Yugoslavia:

Let me tell you first about how we cover movies in
Yugoslavia. We have cinemas
and current slate includes
`American Beauty`, `The World is Not Enough` and
`Talented Mr. Ripley`. Not much of a slate but we also
have bootleg videos that bring us new US releases ten
days after their US theatrical premiere. That's why
we're so up to date.
The next big event will be the
theatrical release of `The Matrix` on the 13th of
April. I hope that `The Matrix` will do well although
even I have my own private bootleg copy at home. I am
a fan so I`ll see it a couple of times in cinema
anyway.
The latest domestic release is the movie named `Sky
Hook` (on www.imdb.com it is listed as `Nebeska
Udica`). It is a family melodrama set against the
recent NATO bombings of my fatherland. Authors use
basketball as catharsis for the characters. Their
concept of the beautiful game is related to Yugoslav
national fondness of basketball. First of all I must
say that the understanding of the game is much better
than in Spike Lee's `He Got Game` and melodramatic
elements are quite consequential.
The movie features
the roles of Yugoslav most competent actors. I would
emphasise Ana Sofrenovic who did a great job. You can
also see her in Van Damme`s worst movie `Legionnaire`.
Let's just hope she gets a better opportunity the next
time she gets to star in American movies. `Sky Hook`
participated in this year's Berlin Film Festival. The
reception of the movie in Yugoslavia was ambivalent.
It got both rave reviews and extremely bad ones. Most
of the reviews were heavily influenced by political
reasons because the wounds made by the bombings are
still fresh. I guess people abroad will like this
movie a lot.

The most anticipated movie of this year is `TT
Sindrom` a slasher horror pic made by the great hope
of Yugoslav cinema-young director Dejan Zecevic
. I've
read the script but since it has twists and elements
of `whodunit` I won't tell you a thing. I`ll just say
it is going to be fun and I`ll tell you that I hope
that the movie will be seen abroad because it will
bring you the horror directly from the country which
is well-known for atrocities, mass murders and all
kinds of brutality.

The movie named `Dorcol-Menhetn` is also very much
anticipated.
You can check the full profile of this
movie on www.imdb.com .It is a very funny comedy which
is primarily made for the audience of sophomores and
people who are older than that
. It can be best
described as The Farrelly's meet Woody Allen. The
movie tells funny stories of two couples who find
their salvation from the unpleasantness of the NATO
bombings through sex. The word Menhetn in the name of
the movie is the Serbian transcription of the word
Manhattan. The movie has this name because one couple
lives in the part of Belgrade named Dorcol while the
other couple lives on Manhattan.
The release date is
not yet set but the preview screening I attended seems
promising.

That`s all for the first report from Yugoslavia.
God bless!

Dima
Original ovde: